revlaine hurford
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • CONTACT
  • BLOG
  • MEDIA
  • RECIPES
  • VINTAGE FINDS
  • REV RECOMMENDS

​

​

SUPPORTING MY PARTNER

31/3/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Spending the day in a snowy Drakensberg a few years back
I recall a good friend of both Chris and myself (who I see once a year, when she takes her leave and comes back to South Africa - my dear friend, I do miss you so) saying to me a few years back that her mother had questioned her about what I do on a day-to-day basis to validate my existence - I vaguely remember telling her something along the lines of that I look after Chris, the hounds and make sure that everything is running smoothly around the house. Which is completely and undeniably true. 

I also remember feeling slightly annoyed by that statement / question - that somehow working a regular 9 - 5 job in some way 'validates one's existence'. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't annoyed with my friend nor her mother - whom I adore just as much as I do my friend - it's a question / statement that, fortunately, doesn't get asked or stated anymore as the years have gone by but it is annoying nonetheless. Why do we - or any couple for that matter - have to explain the inner workings of our relationship? Or to justify it? Luckily those close to us have come to realise that both Chris and I support each other wholeheartedly - just not in the conventional (whatever that may mean?) way. 

It's not as if I haven't worked before, if anything I am a good worker. I remember when I was working and studying to become a high school educator, I was studying full-time through UNISA and working a 3/4 teaching timetable, 5 days a week - the last year, before I became disillusioned (and finally chose to leave the field) I was in charge of the Grade 8 English department. Essentially I was doing all the prep work for the entire grade. It was exhausting. 
Picture
Donating all the supplies that we managed to accumulate from the various regions that Chris was GM of in Johannesburg to aid the owners of the dog kennel that the hounds regularly stayed at when they took in over 30 abused Greyhounds on behalf of the SPCA last year.
Then I did a complete u-turn and found myself managing the front office of an Architect firm - I had never answered a phone for a living prior to this - but I excelled and was, by the time I left a few years later, in charge of the front office, assisted in the creditors and admin department and was the PA to both the partners of the firm. 

Then I was involved in the accident that put me out of commission for a year. When you can't use one of your arms - it limits what you can do. So Chris and I managed on one salary and we made it work. I was traumatised by the accident and went for counselling - we then added Max, Cleo and shortly after that Jessie to the family. So in short, by the time I was physically able to work we had a pack of dogs that needed constant attention - I still maintain to this day that our Jack Russell's are so chilled because they weren't left alone during their formative years. 
Picture
At Wimpy on the Durban Promenade, many moons ago!
Before we started our company, Chris worked for a big corporation that required him to move from region to region, as and when they needed him, so with me not working it made it easier to follow his rise up the ranks - which I totally supported - we wouldn't be here today if he had not taken those opportunities and ran with them.

Late 2014 I found myself being offered a position as a PA to a tax practitioner - by this stage I hadn't worked for at least 2 years - thoughts of 'Can I actually do this?' ran circles around my mind but I gave it a go and enjoyed it, there were days that I was like 'I can't do this!', 'I'm exhausted!' but one gets on with it. Then we started the company and because of Chris' previous employment contract, we weren't allowed to operate within a certain radius of where he was previously employed - so we headed back to the East Coast - I handed in my resignation to a very sad ex-boss but I did it because Chris needed me, I could have easily stayed on in our home in Johannesburg with the hounds whilst Chris sorted business out down here but it has never worked like that with the two of us. We're in it together. 

A couple of months later, my ex-boss contacted me and asked if I would be willing to return back to Johannesburg and work for him again, with him giving me a certain amount of leverage to negotiate a deal that suited me too - I toyed with the idea, I turned him down, he approached me again and I have sort of left it there. As exciting as it would be be, my place is here - with my partner in life and best friend, Chris. Some may see it as me halting myself to put Chris first and to a certain degree that may be true but I believe that Chris wouldn't be where he is now without my support and encouragement driving him - I wonder if he would agree with that statement? He probably would. I am not saying it has been plain sailing all the way, I'm a wilful Aries but so is Chris!
Picture
At an award evening in Cape Town, where we met Ryk Neethling. 
It is so easy to question a relationship or partnership that doesn't quite fit the mould - where outwardly it appears as if one is giving more than the other - you may be pleasantly surprised to find out that all is not what it appears and that sometimes in order for one partner to give, the other needs to sacrifice. 

Until next time, 

​Rev
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Revlaine Hurford-Douglas
    Durbanite
    Husband
    Friend
    Vintage Collector
    Home Cook

    Blogger

    Archives

    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015

    Categories

    All
    2016
    2016 Municipal Elections
    Alanis Morissette
    Apple TV
    April
    Art
    ArtSPACE
    A Small Section Of The World
    Baking
    Belgium Chocolate
    Birthday
    Bloemfontein
    Cacadu District
    Camping
    Candy
    Cape Town
    Chicory Country
    Chocolate Sensations
    Chris
    Christmas 2015
    Cleo
    Cooking
    Death
    Discovery Insure
    Discovey Vitality
    DSTV
    Durban
    Durban Botanical Garden
    Durban & Coast SPCA
    Eastern Cape
    Exercise
    Family
    FitBit
    Food
    Friends
    Frontier Country
    Frou Frou
    Garbage
    Garden Route
    Glenmore
    Godchildren
    Grief
    Health & Wellness
    Hurford-Douglas
    Jagged Little Pill
    Jessie
    Johannesburg
    Justin
    Kouga
    Kwa-Zulu Natal
    Little Karoo
    Local Business
    London
    Loss
    Love
    Manic Street Preachers
    Maria Mena
    Marriage
    Max
    Medical-aid
    Mia
    Midlands Meander
    Moses Mabida Stadium
    Movember
    Music By The Lake
    Nelson Mandela Bay Municipality
    Netflix
    Outeniqua Hop
    Parkrun
    Partnership
    Pasteis-de-nata
    Pilates
    Placebo
    Revlaine
    Road Safety
    Road Trip
    Self Awareness
    Self-awareness
    Selfie
    Shoes
    Shout-Out
    Snow Patrol
    South Africa
    South Coast
    Sunshine Coast
    Support
    Taylor Swift
    The-cardigans
    The-folks
    The-movember-foundation
    Throwbackthursday
    Tsitsikamma Adventure
    Vintage Kitchenware
    Walking
    Weightloss
    Western Cape
    Wild Coast
    Yoga

    RSS Feed

Site powered by Weebly. Managed by Register Domain SA
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • CONTACT
  • BLOG
  • MEDIA
  • RECIPES
  • VINTAGE FINDS
  • REV RECOMMENDS