I have a friend, whom I haven't seen in many years but she holds a dear place in my heart. She is a single mom of two lovely daughters. She happens to also live in one of the most gorgeous and mystical parts of the Western Cape.
She left her husband, which was probably the hardest thing for her to do as a parent, her children's father - with responsibilities, and have-to's, and need-to's and deadlines to meet before 3pm - but I support her from afar.
In fact, I support any woman or man for that matter who chooses to call it quits on a marriage / long-term relationship and who step out of their comfort zone and who choose the scary unknown over the comfortably numb. Abuse is not only one dimensional, there are many facets to it. It can be physical, verbal and emotional.
There are those from the school of thought that it's easier to stay together for the children's sake and that life will be far harder alone than together but as someone who grew up in a 'broken family environment' - I disagree and feel I have every right to comment on this (often touchy, even taboo) subject.
Back to my friend, she is considering leaving her day job (and it's accompanying security) to go it alone and focus on her more creative, freelance work (which ultimately pays better) so that she can provide a better life for her two daughters, as mentioned, she is a single mom and doesn't rely on her ex for anything (again, a big supportive hug your way). I say go for it! You have already done what so many people are too afraid to do, leave.
You are already teaching your children what it is to be a strong, independent person (there are many men in the same position, so I shall try not focus too much on female / male - a toxic relationship can affect both) and in the years to come, they will appreciate your bravery. They will be better people for it.
The link above will take you to a preview of a documentary, A Small Section of the World, about a bunch of women who found themselves in a position where they had to be creative and generate a source of income for themselves and their children, in doing so, their community too - who revolutionised their own small section of the world. I found it very inspiring. It reminded me of my friend and what she's toying with doing herself - not making coffee as such - but the idea of climbing outside her comfort zone and putting in real work to make it succeed.
Alanis Morissette wrote the theme tune for the documentary, my friend knows I am a follower of Alanis - I would never have seen this documentary otherwise - wish more musicians and actors would lend their voices and success to the lessor known causes.
Above is the 'official music video' - give it a listen. Such an inspiring song to go with such an inspiring story.
To my friend, and her two daughters - I know it has been hard (and still is) and you have cried (and will cry again) and have been frustrated, but keep at it. You are supported. You are loved.
Until next time,